A relationship requires as much effort as work, career, parenting, and a shared commitment to face small and big problems together. Minor daily stress can put pressure on the intimate relationship, and considerable stress-filled challenges can threaten the relationship’s stability. As long as you are willing to tackle the current situations and commit to solving the challenges, most relationship problems are manageable. But if you have inappropriate strategies, develop bad habits, and do not solve the issues, it can endanger the health and life of the relationship.
The most important signal for a conflict or crisis in the relationship often appears on the sexual level and in the romance. How is your sex life?
How to deal with heartbreak
Do you occasionally experience unpleasant situations with your partner who just before was your much-loved one? The big question is first and foremost how to deal with the inevitable crises – not whether they will come. To have such things in the relationship is healthy for the growth of love.
And how is your romance? Do you know how to create drama and excitement to keep your partner interested? Or do you make the relationship dull and predictable to escape the misery? And how do you deal with the ups and downs of the one you love? Is it through denial or rationalization to avoid reality? And what is the nature of reality? Is it true love and commitment? Or are you just playing games? We all need to know the answers – not to love or be loved, but to find ourselves and our partners.
What is love? “Hvad er kærlighed?” as we say in Danish. A good relationship is a two-way exchange of love. To send love into the world, a person needs to give love.
“To be truly loved, give love” – Proverbs 3:15
Qualities of Love
To give love is to give attention to, and affection for, and an interest in the life and interests of your loved one. Love is not just being affectionate but also involves sharing their positive traits and giving an honest evaluation of their character. It’s loving their flaws and making peace with their spots – not allowing their flaws to bring them down. But if the partner you love becomes an obstacle to you being loved, you have become their enemy. If you have used your love to harm your partner, then you are in love with their enemy – and their enemy is not your friend.
To give love is not to spend time together all the time. It’s to spend time together to connect with your loved one in a spirit of love and closeness. But the goal is not affection or time together. To find yourself, a partner is to learn how to connect with your partner so that you can develop the life and the talents that your partner can support and enjoy.
To know what your partner wants for them self, and how to provide it for them-self is to give love to your partner. Love is not just a feeling or affection. It is the action of taking an interest in their life and relating to their character – of giving honest evaluations and not giving a positive or negative assessment. It is about learning to make a connection with your partner and caring about their desires. It’s about taking part in the way they want to live their life – and not taking part in the way they want to die their life.
Being Friends With A Depressed Person
To love your partner is to learn how to support them in the way they want to be kept. It’s not to abandon them when they need it. To not love your partner in their time of need is to say to them, “They can’t handle it”. It’s to say “it’s their problem”. It’s to let them know that you can’t afford to be there for them – or to be there for them. To be their friend, rather than their life support, is to learn how to understand them in a way that gives them the space and space to be their best and make their own choices. To care about their lives and their lives about you is to be willing to be sensitive to their needs and desires for your own life.
When the relationship is about you, and you care about them, you need to do things that are more than affection and a gift to them – giving them real, practical, valuable value that will make them happy and make them glad they appreciate you more. This will mean that you must learn to be a leader and buy what you do for them rather than do things to get something back for yourself.
Don’t waste your time worrying about how much they will value you if you start to feel like your partner might leave you. Instead of worrying about how much they will appreciate you, focus on how much you value them and value them for who they are. This will allow you not to let jealousy and insecurity get the better of you because you will be focused on loving them and loving them because of their person. When you can truly love someone without any measure of jealousy or inadequacy, your partner will feel the love.
What Are You Wanting In A Partner?
Give your partner what they need. Let them know that you will do anything they need you to do. Let them know that you are willing to give up something of your own to help them. And let them know that you will stay with them, to hold their hand, to be there for them when they need it, and to do the little things that are so precious to them.
Learn how to say “I love you” and “I will love you more”. Learn how to appreciate them and how to be grateful for their actions towards you. Learn how to show them love and appreciation and how to feel loved and appreciated. Learn how to ask for help and ask for what you need because your partner deserves to be heard. Learn how to be respectful in the relationship.